Today is International Women's Day and the theme for 2024 is #inspireinclusion.
With that in mind I want to take a moment to look back honour and remember the women who have had a profound impact on my life. From key moments of empowerment to the everyday lessons taught and learned, these incredible women have shaped who I am today. They have inspired me, challenged me, and supported me through friendships and relationships that are truly inclusive and genuine. From strong leaders to nurturing role models, these women have shown me the power and importance of female empowerment. In this post, I want to share some of experiences that have influenced my journey as a woman over the last 20 years, and celebrate the positive influence these women have had on me and how they have inspired inclusion in the world around them.
The friends from afar
As someone who has moved around a lot I have collected many friends from all over the place, with even some of my most cherished friends all the way over in Canada. These are the hardest friendships to have but have also been the most treasured and impactful as these friends have introduced me to new cultures, new ideas and opinions and a new way of life. Like what it means to start again, to find who you are in a new country and adapting to foreign way of life. I also discovered what healthy friendships looked like, in the best ways and sometimes not so good ways, and how to handle myself with grace and own my mistakes when I made them.
I’ve taken these shared moments with me every time I’ve moved on to a new home, remembering what I learnt from them and integrating this into my life. Over the years we have caught up and reconnected, these friendships are like a subconscious skill, like when you learn to ride a bike, shift gears in a car or type on a key board — it may not be something you do everyday but you never forget how to. Of course I don’t see these friends every day, they are not a part of my weekly routine, we don’t always get to share our celebrations or our loses but the flame of our friendships still burns.
The good (and the bad) bosses
I truly believe that when we work for a woman, we absorb so much influence that shapes how we want to show up in the world. It influences all kind of relationships around us, the ones with others, but also the ones with ourselves. Now I’m pleased to say that right now I work under a kind and understanding boss, who’s open to my ideas, encourages my growth and is compassionate when life gets tough or as I tend to do, make a bit of a fuck up! This kind of manager is something I wish for all women.
Previous to this I worked for a well known parenting website and up until my last 6 months there I was also lucky enough to have a great manager, she was no nonsense but very fair, she got that I was flakey (because I am!) but encouraged growth, ambition and saw me through some of my toughest moments as a working mother when I had several miscarriages and pre and postnatal depression, again with kindness and compassion. These women have inspired me to embrace who I am and not get hung up on my flaws, and their belief in me has had a ripple effect on what I believe in too. When you have women like this at work then work becomes a place where other women can feel this way about themselves too.
I’ve had some pretty shitting bosses too, and even more disappointing they were mostly women. These were the times when I experienced bullying, shaming and judgement way beyond constructive criticism. Looking back I can say it was a culture and I wonder if they experienced that from the people above them as well? When you don’t know better you can’t do better but unfortunately this behaviour towards me bred doubt, fear and anxiety — emotions and beliefs I carried around with me for years. The impact of working for a woman who constantly knocks you down can hang around for a long time, it can break a person spirit. There is a way of working with someone where you can get the best out of them and what I experienced wasn’t it. But it did shape me, it did eventually make me stronger, more determined and actually more compassionate myself to include and nurture the other women around me.
The school gate mums
Ok, if you’re a mum with a primary school aged child or beyond I know you would of experienced the gossipy mums in the play ground, the cliquey mums who only want to talk to you if they really have to and the look down their nose at you mums who think they are better than you and that their child couldn’t possibly be passively aggressively bullying your child at break time. We’ve all had that unfortunate pleasure of dealing with them!
I’m talking here about my school gate mums who I have found a kindred spirit with, my twin flame mums who laugh with me at how disorganised we are, and who then remind each other if it non uniform day or if we need to bring in an empty cereal box. The mums who wait for me when they see I’m stressed at drop off or hug me in the playground when I’m crying (being a SEN mum is hard some days). Mums that help each other out with childcare and school holiday outings, mums who like to get tipsy with me (you know who you are!) when it all gets too much and mums who like to meet for coffee, walk and talk all the stresses of life away.
These women have shape my perception of motherhood and how I show up for my kids and myself daily. These are also women from all kinds of backgrounds, cultures and beliefs which makes these friendships better not only for me but my kids because they are rich with diversity. These are the women that include me when I’ve been excluded on the playground, that see my me and my kids for who we are with all our neurodiversity and have been a daily reminder of how we are all a village.
The online tribe
Say what you like about social media, and a lot of it is rightfully bad, but the one good thing that’s alway been a positive in my life is the connections I’ve made with women that I would never know existed without it. I have some incredible friendships and an amazing support network just from following other women online and getting to know them. Not to mention all the women I don’t know but who’s online presence is positive, relatable, informative and of course inspiring and inclusive. There are some incredible women in out in the world doing so many important things to make it better place and I love social media for being a window in to their world. The women I know and don’t know there have given me tools to practice continuous growth, educated me on matters I didn’t understand, challenged my bias and opened my eyes up to new ideas and possibilities.
The online world can of course be tricky to navigate and women more than men are subject to trolling, abuse and being shamed. We are also bombarded with a flawless ideal of motherhood or being a successful girl boss and the worst, how perfect we should all look, achieve and acquire in our lives which is so dangerous and quite frankly exhausting to consume and keep up with. That’s why I love the online tribe I’ve curated for myself these are all women, known and unknown, who lift me, empower me and fill me joy and if I don’t feel this I don’t follow — simple as that!
The little women in my life
So last but by no means least is the younger women in my life, the two that live in my home, that grew in my tummy and are looking to me to learn how to be a woman themselves in this world. These two girls have arguably inspired me the most. Everyday I’m challenged to be the best version of myself by being their mum, it’s not been an easy road for me, I really thought motherhood would come naturally and it hasn’t. A lot of my own childhood experiences are tied up in what it means to be a mother and this shapes what kind of a mother I want to be to them. It also moulds what kind of a woman I want to be in this world and constantly inspire the version I show up as for them.
Special mention is deserved for my boy too, he also informs and inspires the kind of woman I want to be and how I want him to see women himself. All 3 of my children are gifts, a cliche I know but for me this means not just the precious, special type (which of course they are) gifts of learning too, which has much meaning and influence on my life and who I am. Gift of letting go, the gift of being wrong, the gift of learning grace, the gift of being patient, the gift of embracing change and the gift of constantly evolving. As they change so do I and I love it, everyday they inspire me to show up as best I can and for me this is the true humbling reward of choosing the path of motherhood.
For more inspiring women check out: HER WISDOM Interviews
I’m so very lucky to have so many women surrounding me that inspire growth, positive change and inclusivity. That empower me to always strive to be my best and others around me. That care about lifting others and teach me to keep lift others too. If I could leave you with a few words of wisdom it would this, my favourite quote from Oprah Winfrey...
“Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher!"
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