For example, for the longest time I would come up with excuses to not workout if the living room was messy, or the kids were at home, or if I only had a 10 minute window. Or I would put off going out if my hair was dirty or I didn’t have the right top on. I am relieved to tell you though, that I no longer do either of those now, along with many other things I used to put off because the circumstances didn’t feel perfect.
BUT, (and this deserves a big one!) perfectionism did stop me from getting started with Her Wisdom.
Although I did actually begin making some small changes towards this a couple of years ago, there was always something stopping me from really committing to it, I would take a step in the right direction but then always come up with a reason why I couldn't follow through with my plans, I’m too busy, the house needs my attention, the kids are home from school - blah, blah, blah!
When I turned 45 last year I gave myself a pep talk about making this next year different but even then I still didn’t get started.
So here I am now, over two months into the year and I’ve actually, finally started now — yay me! But why is it different this time?
Well, I think I may have finally learnt that valuable lesson — it doesn’t have to be perfect, you just have to flipping start! AND (yes another big one), more importantly than that previous lesson, not only will life circumstances hardly ever be perfect when you get started, they’ll continue to keep being imperfect as life rattles along. The imposter syndrome will always be there, a family emergency will crop up, you’ll feel unwell or not have the right resources or enough money, so just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Embracing the many obstacles along the way is the best thing I could have done for myself and it’s taken a long time to truly do that, and I still have to stop myself sometimes from using perfectionism as an excuse but I’m letting that shit go now, and it feels good, exciting even!
Getting relaxed about the timing of my life being just perfect before I take action has freed me up to achieve more, experience more and generally just enjoy things for what they are, now doesn’t that sound like a better way to go about life?
Now, three things to help you get unstuck with getting started:
This YouTube video of Ella Mills interviewing Caggie Dunlop for her podcasts focuses on perfectionism, feeling lost and finding our true self and how this helped Caggie to get started on a new phase in her life.
I love TED Talks and this one by Charlie Harversat, a recovering perfectionist, hits the nail on the head when it comes to what holds you back on getting started.
Author and scholar Piers Steel has written a brilliant book called the Procrastination Equation all about the science of procrastination with tips and ideas on how to stop putting things off and start getting things done. My husband bought this book for me a few years ago and I still dip in and out of it.
I hope you find these little nuggets of wisdom helpful to get you started on whatever you’ve been putting off lately.
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